Are We Successful in Our Relationships?

//Are We Successful in Our Relationships?

Lovely emoticons flood our Facebook page. With every new update, WhatsApp and other such social media pages add another set of mind-blowing emoticons. We will search and search for the right emoticon to express our exact state of mind and heart when we chat with others in our group.

Nice. Really nice!

We will be oh- so – professionally courteous to our colleagues, superiors, and juniors in our workplace. We will bow down and say thank you. We will warmly hold on to their hands to express our appreciation. We will smile and give people a thumbs up to show them that we respect their work. We will hug people professionally to give a personal touch to our professionalism.

Nice. Really nice!

But do we ever appreciate or even express our emotions to our family members? Why do we reserve such basic common courtesies for people who fall in our second and third circles? Why do we hesitate to show our appreciation and our gratitude to our immediate family?

A father spends two and a half decades of his life to give his children a decent education. A mother spends an entire lifetime taking care of the physical and emotional needs of the entire family. Sisters go out of their way to do things for their dear brothers. Brothers go out of their way to do things for their sisters.

And last but not the least; children go out of their way to do things for their aging parents.

Yet, there is never any appreciation for their time, money, efforts and love.

Yes, this post may well end up in the category called – Philosophy for youth.

That surely does not mean that only the youth needs a big dose of philosophy.

Because of all of us, at all ages, need to think about such things.

I would like to deviate a little from the main topic to make a crucial point here:

I watched a video clipping of about 4 minutes over Whatsapp. A lovely young lass comes jogging over from the seashore one fine evening and sits beside a middle-aged young woman. They start chatting, and the woman briefly shares her current predicament in life with this youngster. Her married son and daughter in law apparently left her when she reprimanded him over some domestic issue. She stated with a quiet dignity about how we all enter this world crying and wailing our lungs out and how we need to master the art of learning to smile despite the setbacks we face in life.

Why are youngsters always blamed for such situations? Why do we so conveniently shift the blame to people who are not around? Why do we judge and condemn people without knowing the real issue?

Relationships matter. Relationships matter the most in all our lives. Yet, when it comes to compromising or adapting or changing outdated ideas, we all struggle.

Appreciation is not always about being courteous. ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ may grease and ease out strained relationships. But they will never solve the real issues within the relationship.

Appreciation is also not about acknowledging the effort that goes into making a great dish at home or completing a difficult project with a complete focus on the time frame and quality.

Appreciation is about observing how our mother goes about doing the most mundane tasks at home quietly, willingly and cheerfully.

Appreciation is about how a deadline or quality is maintained despite a crisis on the home front.

Appreciation is about how that security guard at the office gate always greets us with a smile despite our eternally preoccupied state of mind.

Appreciation is about how our children put up with all our outdated beliefs and notions even when they personally do not believe in them. They do this because they love us!

Appreciation is about how our parents tolerate our ridiculous flighty dreams quietly and are always there to support us and pick us up when we come crashing down from our dream world!

Look up. Look within. Look around. Look down. Look through people. Look….See…..Observe…………Feel……

Let’s respect people for what they represent. Let’s love people the way they are. Let’s connect with people to broaden our perspectives of life. Let’s communicate openly with people to share our thoughts and feelings.

Let us learn to express ourselves through our hearts and souls instead of using those lovely emoticons and one-sided video clippings that show people how we should feel about things and situations.

Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Raksha Bandhan…..we may well have dedicated a day in a year to celebrate all our relationships. But unless we connect at a personal, emotional level we cannot really call any relationship a successful one.

A relationship, any relationship thrives on love.

A relationship, any relationship connects two people.

And unless there is mutual understanding, two-way communication and a shift in perspectives from both ends………we cannot really call any relationship a successful one.

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By |2018-01-10T04:35:26+00:00January 10th, 2018|Lifestyle|1 Comment

One Comment

  1. Ogeto Omwancha January 11, 2018 at 7:50 am - Reply

    Thank you Brinda for such an educative and accurate article regarding our relationships. Yet, many of us relate to people like a transaction and mistake what we have for a relationship. Without awareness of the distinctions and being explicit about the nature of our connection, all sorts of mischief can happen. Worst case, we leave a trail of people behind due to unmet expectations, lack of or poor communication, broken connections or confusion. While individuals may be highly brilliant and talented, few of us work in a vacuum; therefore our ability to develop relationships with others determines how successful we will be in our workplaces and in our relationships outside of work. People are not born with natural abilities to develop and build great relationships with others. These are lifestyle skills like any other that can be learned and mastered if one recognizes the need and takes the time and effort to develop them. We naturally bond with people who really listen, hear us, and that we’d want to spend time with. When others sense that we are making a sincere attempt to understand them, they tend to open up and share more with us. This deepens the relationship and places us in the category of people they want to seek out and talk to. Some people known for building relationships keep a small portfolio of important information on significant people in their lives so they will have a written record to refer to in order to the keep facts accurate.

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